There is a line in V.S. Naipaul's A Bend in the River that I can't quote because I don't have the book in front of me, but his main character is in Kisangani and meets up with a couple that has been there a long time. He says something to the effect of, these expats have been here so long that they have forgotten to be curious about others.
They haven't forgotten how to be curious, they just forgot to be curious.
Sometimes I sense this around other expats in Kinshasa, and is this sometimes my problem as well? For example, I went to someone's farewell party last weekend, and a relatively newly arrived friend of mine said, "Everyone here thinks they're way cooler than they are." I was doing my best to make conversation with people I don't know very well, and sometimes it worked and sometimes it fell flat, even though we were all smiling.